Cat Poop Cookies
"There are two flavors: chocolate (dark brown), and
gingerbread (light brown).
I seldom measure carefully so amounts may need adjustment,
especially on flavoring. The cookies are dense and not very
sweet. This is necessary so that they will keep their shape
during baking. If you use white flour or sugar they may be
tastier but they won't look like shit."
Chocolate ingredients:
½ cup honey
2/3 cup (1 and 1/3 stick) butter, margarine or lard
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla or peppermint extract
2 cups whole wheat flour
1/3 cup cocoa powder
Grape-Nuts™ cereal
Gingerbread ingredients:
¼ cup honey
¼ cup molasses
2/3 cup (1 and 1/3 stick) butter, margarine or lard
1 egg
2 and 1/3 cups whole wheat flour
spices: ginger, cinnamon and cloves to taste (maybe ½ tsp
each)
Grape-Nuts™ cereal
Mix-ins:
coconut (tapeworms)
chocolate chips
butterscotch chips
peanut butter chips
cooked spaghetti or ramen noodles (roundworms)
corn
peanuts
M&M's™
To make:
Microwave the honey till it bubbles (about 1 minute).
Add the butter, (I've been told using lard makes for a more
realistic texture and softer cookie) and the molasses, if
any.
Add the egg.
Mix well; then mix in all the other stuff. Add mix-ins of your
choice to some or all of the batter.
Chill 1 hour in the freezer or several hours in the
fridge.
Roll dough logs of random length and the diameter of cat poops.
Roll logs in grape-nuts and bake at 350 degrees till done (maybe
10 to 15 minutes but with my flaky oven you never know). Note:
someone with a reliable oven says it's closer to 20 minutes for
him. (thanks Paul!)
Serve in a disposable cat litter box on a bed of
Grape-Nuts™ cereal, with a new, unused cat litter scoop. I
hear you get lovely effects by decorating the box and scoop with
melted chocolate or pudding. I imagine brown sugar might work as
a substitute for the new clumping litters, but I haven't tried
it. I've been told that mixing brown sugar with the
Grape-Nuts™ "sweetens up the cookie a bit while still
looking truly hideous."
This recipe worked especially well at the Halloween party where
the table was already decorated with plastic flies.