February 14, 1992 - February 19, 2001
ME AND SHOO
A Love Story
Shoo had just turned nine years old 5 days before he died. When he was 6 1/2 he got really sick with Pancreatitis and that caused him to become Diabetic. I went to the vet everyday to visit him and hold him. He was sooo sick his eyes were barely open and his body even felt different, like it wasn't there. The only way I knew he was there was as I talked to him the very tip of his tail moved. The vet expected him to die. He wasn't eating, his glucose level was sky high, and they couldn't get it regulated. He was getting fluids, being force fed etc. Shoo was always a very special baby to me and to everyone that met him. The nurses at my vet's all loved him and always fought over who got to take care of him. My vet has a photo of him in her bedroom. Anyway, Shoo didn't eat on his own for a month, he was at the vet for most of that month. when he started to stabilize enough my vet had me pick him up late at night and take him home to try and get him to eat, which he didn't. I had to force feed him every hour on the hour, so I set my alarm every hour. I didn't really sleep though because I was so afraid if I fell asleep that Shoo would die while I was asleep . I would put my hand on his body as he lay next to me so I could tell if he was still breathing or not. Early in the morning I would get up and take him back to the vet so they could put him back on fluids and force feed him all day. Every morning as I drove the 20 miles to the vet I would pray that he would be alive when I went to pick him up that night and that this wouldn't be the last time that I was going to see my Shoo baby alive. I would cry all the way to the vet and cuss and scream at God all the way back home, for making Shoo get sick and not making him well. Always not knowing if that was the last time I would ever hold him. At night when I would go pick him up I would pray the whole way there that he be ok. Then the force feeding all night long would start again. This went on for about a month. He finally got stabilized enough for me to take him home, I was still trying to get him to eat on his on and I was still force feeding him. The vet finally said that she didn't think he was going to get any better, his kidneys ,liver and pancreas were all permanently damaged, he wasn't eating on his own. I basically had two choices, either have him go through a feeding tube to see if that would get him back to where he would eat on his own or put him to sleep. I asked the vet what she would do and she said if Shoo was her cat she would put him to sleep. I loved Shoo more than anything else on this earth and I didn't want him to die! I had never had to put an animal to sleep before and didn't want to have to do it to Shoo. But I trusted my vet more than anyone else and knew she wouldn't do anything that wasn't in Shoo's best interest. So I had one more week off of work before I had to go back and I wanted to have his photo taken one last time. So Shoo came home with me, I was still trying to get him to eat. he started to have an interest in it but he wouldn't eat. I was still force feeding him. So I spent time with Shoo and loved him as much as I could, got his photo taken (the one above is one of the photos taken of him that day). All the time I was in my head planning on putting him to sleep although I never set a day I was going to do it. I didn't know how I was actually going to go through with it. I didn't want him to leave me. Then a few days before the day that I still hadn't finally decided on putting him to sleep he started going to the dry food bowl like he wanted to eat. He would eat a bite or two. Then he started eating a little canned food. Gradually he began to eat again. He had gone from being a 11 or 12 lb cat to under 7 lbs. It took him a long time to gain any weight back because he would do pretty good for awhile then start throwing up again and have to go get fluids and be force fed again. Eventually at his best he got back to 10 lbs. There were two other times that he go bad again and I decided to put him to sleep again, never ever picking a definite day though. Each time I had planned on putting him to sleep a day or so before the so called day, he would start to eat again. All the time I would like make little deals in my head with God who I was convinced hated me and if he didn't hate me before Shoo got sick, he certainly hated me after he got sick when I had cussed him out over and over again for making Shoo get sick, that if he would only let Shoo live to his 7th birthday, and then it was to Christmas, and so on and so on. I know all of this sounds like Shoo went through hell which he did but after he first started eating again he was Shoo again, he would purr, he wanted to be with me all the time like usual, he still did his daily routine, went to the bathroom in his place etc. He was happy and wanted to be with me, because if I had thought for one second that he was in any kind of pain or was miserable I wouldn't have let that happen, I loved him too much. Last year he started to stop eating more often and had to get fluids more and it was taking longer to get him to eat. He slowly began to lose weight. I knew that I didn't have much longer with him and that I couldn't keep asking God for one more Christmas etc. After all I had had almost three extra years with Shoo that I wasn't suppose to have had. The vet said Shoo should have died, he was that sick. But Shoo was a fighter and had this love of life and most of all his love for me. The vet told me Shoo loves you so much! And I think that is what kept us both going for those years is the deep love and bond that we shared for each other. Shoo was my heart, my sunshine. That is what I would sing to him sitting on the kitchen floor in between force feeding him. I would hold him like a baby and sing "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know Shoo how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away." I didn't feel like I had the right to keep asking God for more time with Shoo, I should have been grateful for what time that he gave me, but I wasn't, I still didn't want Shoo to die. I asked God one more time to please let Shoo make it to his 9th birthday on February 14th, 2001. Shoo had already scared me really bad twice. he started having seizures, the first time as I was bringing him home from the vet after him getting fluids. I was taking his sweater off him and he started having one. That scared me to death and as usual I panicked. My phone had been cut off because I was behind on bills because of all my vet bills, I had borrowed my friend's cell phone to use when I went to the vet because my car was always breaking down. But I had left it in the car. I ran out to the car holding Shoo because in my panicking state, I thought he was dying and I didn't want to leave him alone. I had to take him back to the vet where they kept him over night. He was going to the vet everyday for fluids and I couldn't force feed him because he was throwing up. He was getting weaker and weaker. He made it to his 9th birthday. After which he got worse, I was watching a movie in the other room and he was in on my bed. The movie was over and I came in and saw him laying there and I thought he was dead! I called the vet, crying, trying to give him karo syrup because of his seizure I thought he had since he leg was stiff like in a seizure. I had to call my friend to come over and take me there. I was a mess, crying just telling Shoo please don't die all the way to the vet. The vet met me there and they put him on oxygen and got him stable. He had had another seizure and when I found him on the bed he was out of it. They got him back and I got to see him before I went home. He was rubbing up against me and purring. I knew then that I was going to have to put him to sleep. The next day when I picked him up, my vet said to bring him back the next day for fluids. I told her that I wanted to spend the day with him that I was going to put him to sleep. So the next morning I brought him back and he got fluids for a few hours then I picked him up and spent the rest of the day with him. Late that night I took him there and sat with him for a long time in the exam room, just holding him and crying and telling him how much I loved him. One of his favorite nurses was there, one who loved Shoo alot. She came in several times to make sure we were ok. I told her I was ready. My vet came in but I just couldn't do it so she told me to take more time with him. So I sat awhile longer with him. Shoo was laying like a baby in my arms, purring, kneading me. So I decided I had to do it, that there never would be enough time with him. So I called her in again and she gave him his injection as I held him. He jerked when she first started to give it, which upset me because I though maybe he wasn't ready even though I knew he was. After he stopped breathing I held him and talked to him and told him how much I loved him and would miss him. Shoo he was my heart, my soul, my sunshine!
February 14, 1992 - February 19, 2001
It was a year ago today
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